Month: Sep 2018

I’m still recovering!! Still!! 5 weeks since it all began with elrow and 2 weeks since it finished at Classic Ibiza!!

It’s a slow slow road. I can’t just have a couple of early night then be ready to go again. See there is 2 issues with being so busy…..

Brain & physical fatigue

I tried to explain brain fatigue and I really struggle to. So here goes……..

Imagine your head as a roundabout. There are 6 exits leading to sleep, anger, happiness, problem solving, hunger & relationships. Now all the drivers know exactly where they are heading, all use their indicators, the traffic lights all work and the traffic flows smoothly (no brain injury).

Now now think of the holidays when all the tourists are in you town, city village and they where they are going, they travel slow, take wrong turns, indicating one way going another, to top it off there has been a massive electrical short and the traffic lights don’t work (brain injury). Eventually everything is going to come to a standstill.

I’ve got holidaymakers on my roundabout, the locals, every road on & off the roundabout is down to one lane due to roadworks and to top it off the traffic lights are intermittent, sometimes not working at all. Like the past couple of weeks.

Which then has the knock on effect to my physical abilities and rehab.

Because of all the new sites, destinations, environments, crowded areas, the fields I’ve walked on my, my brain is working overtime. I’m constantly assessing the ground I’m walking on, so I keep my balance & don’t fall over. Making sure that people give me room to move or just see my walking stick so I don’t trip them up or worse they knock my stick away and I fall over. Where there is where I can sit down. Where the disabled toilets are. I could go on but my mind is blank. As I tire then my speech gets affected. I start to stutter and loose whole words and sentences. Then I get angry and upset with myself and cry lots.

Then the the is the physical, my energy, my strength,my posture. The extra strain that is put on my hips, my left shoulder (which I’m still receiving physio for) and arm, my left knee, my feet and my back. Why all this…..ok. My left hip, knee, foot because most my body weight goes through that side. I start the day walking as correctly as I can but as I get tired my posture changes dramatically. I start hitching my right leg to walk. So I start leaning more to the left to compensate and “swing” my leg through. Then I’m then leaning on the walking stick more, gripping it tightly, pushing pressure up through my shoulder. I do everything with my left arm. From putting underwear on to pulling myself up off the floor. When you haven’t got the energy it makes tings bloody hard.

That then plays with my emotions. I “hulk out” as Deb calls it. I get angry because I can’t do things. I can’t sleep even though I’m tired. I start crying because I should be doing things and I can’t. I should be better than this and I’m not. I then get frustrated that I have to accept help or just sit there doing nothing and leaving everything to Deb.

And round and round we go. Then just for shits and giggles we will add in that my rehab is suffering because I went and had some fun. Then Mr & Mrs Physio (Helen &James) are going to be disappointed in me for not doing more and feel like I’m wasting their time.

So some out there might be thinking……..if you have to battle with all the that then don’t do it.

I say to them for me right now this is my full time job. And like the employed out there I need a break, a change of scene. Just like you take holiday from your job. I took holiday from rehab. Don’t get me wrong I’m paying for it. Maybe even put myself back a bit. That sucks big time, but the enjoyment I had out weighs it. Even if I have struggled with sleep, emotions, function and can’t get my brain and my right hand to connect much at the moment. Everyday for me is rehab in one way or another.

I can’t stop doing things because of the challenges I have. Next time they won’t be in succession like that. I’ll spread them out better. I’ve learnt a lot about myself over these few weeks and recognise when I need to slow it down more.

I don’t if this will make sense but I’ve published it now……………..oh well.

Laters 💋

Wow! Wow! Wow!

I’ve had a few busy weekends and music festivals! 3 in a row the be exact.

19th Aug ELROW TOWN @The Olympic Park.

This was an amazing day. I made sure that I had my silicone foot on today as I was going to be walking lots & hopefully dancing too. I was meeting my friend Yvette at the station the other end, so I had to made my own way there. No Debbie for backup or to lead the way. Train was easy though was straight through.

Met up with Yvette at the other end and it was time to party.

The only issue was walking stick and can of cider require the same hand, can’t be spilling it now! Yvette bless her helped so there was no cider casualties. PHEW!!

We had a good old dance. Well I kind of two step shuffled, but styled it out with the walking stick.

I hadn’t dance so much in such a long time. It was also nice to catch up with Yvette too and have a good old chin wag when it was cider time. It was a great day. Great dancing. I found my love for tech, house, tech house all over again.

24th-26th Maui Waui back in Suffolk.

Friends of ours (Verity & Molly) had been telling us for a couple of years that we should go with them to Maui Waui. We were always at another festival so couldn’t. This year we went! Wow! It was out there.

There was myself, Debbie, Verity, Molly, Gemma, Tori, Sadie & 3 others but I can’t remember their names (sorry). Our set up was great, our trailer tent, Gemma & Tori in an teepee, Verity & Molly in a caravan & Sadie and friends in a motorhome. Sweet!! These lot are bloody nuts. Love them all dearly. It was a very chaotic, fun weekend.

Tori the master chef, Verity the Desperados pusher, Debbie the Pee queen, Gemma the face painter, Captain Molly Spiced Gold, Sadie the Vapemaster and me Hop-along.

Debbie really relaxed over this weekend. It might of been the alcohol but also the fact the everyone looked after everyone. So she didn’t have to worry about me constantly. It was just brilliant. Again armed with my silicone boot it was time to party.

It’s not your average festival with headline acts and known artists. Well it is if you are familiar with the music. This is what is written on the website

What is Maui Maui?

Maui Waui is a 3 day international festival of music, performance and arts. Now in it 6th year it is fast becoming one of the area most exciting festivals, pulling in accomplished and undiscovered bands and performers from all around the globe. Maui Waui focuses on an all welcoming family feel with loads to do for Kids and Adults, from watching world class bands, full circus shows in a dedicated circus tent, big bass dance tents, small upbeat bands and acoustic acts, cabaret and comedy. Maui Waui invites you into their world – you will not be disappointed.

And we weren’t. It was fabulous. We enjoyed it so much we will be back next year. Such a wide variety of bands, dj’s, performers, duo’s, soloists and acts. Something for everyone. Loved every minute of it.

Classic Ibiza @Hatfield House.

Well this was the icing on the cake. It was just myself & Debbie.

So we our old lady shopping bag and filled with food, drinks, blanket & jumpers, plus chairs and table and we were all set up.

The Urban Soul Orchestra take some classic Ibiza dance, house, tech & trance tracks and play them with an orchestra. We had underworld born slippy, moby why does my heart, massive attack unfinished symphony, robert miles children, to name a few.

Again armed with my silicone boot it was time to dance.

Absolutely bloody amazing!! Brilliant music and an amazing light show to go with it. Took a video of ever track they played. It was brilliant.

Had a great night and again met some fantastic people. Watching Debbie let loose and bust some moves was just brilliant to see. Letting her hair down again, two weekend in a row. Fantastic. I can’t remember the last time she was so relaxed.

At the end of the night one woman walked up to me and said “can I just say you have the most amazing smile. I’ve looked over several times I just wanted you to know”. 😊

That was so lovely to hear. Especially when I don’t think I do after everything that has happened. 😊

A brilliant, busy, fun few weekends but I really suffered with tiredness. Will all be explained in my next blog.

Laters 💋