It’s been an interesting week. The week started pretty productively,
Gym✔️ Hand Therapy✔️ Blog back up and running✔️ Blogs Instagram Acc✔️
Then it all came to a abrupt stop on Weds when I had my CBT phone appointment. I had ask the have someone who had knowledge of brain injury. In our first couple of appointments she seemed as if she did but……….clearly it was false sense of security I was being lured into. We were talking about following the plan not the mood to make sure I get things done. Ok I can do that. So we are planning activities for the week. For this the Therapist will be T (saves typing 🙂) So the conversation goes like this………
T: so what the first tasks you are going do this week and on what day?
Me: hand therapy everyday
T: ok. Everyday though really? What time of day?
Me: yes everyday I need do do 400 reps everyday. It has to be in the morning as it’s when I function best.
T: ok. What are we going to add next?
Me: the gym.
T: ok when are you going to do that?
Me: again in the morning.
T: ok so what about in the afternoon?
Me: a nap.
T: ok is that a good idea? Is there anything else you could be doing? Remembering to follow the plan not the mood.
Me: yes I’ll need to have some rest as the concentration it takes tires my brain.
T: remember we are following the plan not the mood. It’s easy to give in to our brain not wanting to do something.
(Thinking in my head………Do you think I don’t know this! I’m a ***ing expert in it! For the last 3years have had constant arguments with my brain over doing tasks using my right hand instead my left. With my brain being like……..”this is too hard, why are we doing this? Just do it with your left it will be easier and quicker! I’m bored! I’m not playing!)
Me: yes I know but since my brain injury I get tired very easily especially when doing the hand therapy. (staring to get upset) It’s takes a lot of concentration as I’m trying to get my brain and my hand to communicate again.
T: I understand
Me: no! I don’t think you do! I don’t think you understand the battle………Ive got to go. I’m hanging up now
Click! End of conversation.
That killed my mood for the rest of the week really if I’m honest. I’m now trying to get back in touch with my neuropsychologist at Danesbury and also other privately. I’m going to be more through in my search. There are changes in my brain again and I need help understanding them.
Like every human out there my brain is constantly changing, adapting, fixing, growing and deleting (although it does this a lot as the keys to the short term memory department keep getting lost. Or the staff are sleeping on the job)
There is no definite answer to what you can achieve after brain injury. The only definite thing is how far you want to push yourself. In my opinion yes the experts can say this will/won’t/could/should happen but no one in the world knows what your brain can do……………even you.
For me I need the neuropsychologist to help me guide my body and my brain down the same path. Yeah there are going to be times that they don’t want to but instead of getting frustrated and angry I need help in managing it all and recognising triggers.
Well time to sleep. A new month of challenges and results and targets.