The title is what I’ve been saying since my brain aneurysm in 2015. As I’m sure many of you out there has been too since your brain injuries.
For some of us it might be that it isn’t a case of someday it is a case of I’m gonna do it now. Boom I’m going to do it. I’m gonna fly.
For others it might be it is a case of the consultation saying I wouldn’t advise it. Unfortunately you will be unable to fly.
Others it might be the fear, anxiety, worry, stress of, planning a trip, getting on the plan and being in that confined space…….what if something goes wrong. Is just too much. I can’t.
Or maybe the I’m gonna fly again one day. I am. Just not just yet. I am going to. I will.
I was, I say was, I still am a combination of the last two. I had always wanted to fly since since my aneurysm. But team ASF (anxiety, stress & fear) have been a very strong at holding me back.
But that all changed on 20/09/18. When I got my arse on the plan and went the to Highlands of bonnie Scotland. With my aunt.
The week or so leading up to it was hard work.
I wasn’t sleeping very well. Or much in fact. I’d wake up in the morning covered in sweat. Have nightmares. Wake up suddenly. I mean wide awake. My brain wasn’t going to let me rest. Or it I’d be struggling to keep my eyes open and get to bed and couldn’t get comfortable. Which is a real issue when one side of your body doesn’t function as well as it should.
Even with planning to go to techno gig that my friends Chris, Matt & Paul run called Sonance, taking my mum to the Royal Albert Hall to see the Motown legend that is Dionne Warwick and spending the afternoon with my ex Jo having a good laugh & a few drinks my body wouldn’t rest.
Now I had all these things planned for the days leading up to the flight as I know that going to music events is quickest way to exhaust me. Mentally and physically. Due to having to get to said event, catching up with people, unfamiliar venues so I have to be more aware of what is around me, the ground underfoot, any steps, where the toilets are, loud music and flashing lights.
But no team ASF we’re working overtime in keeping my from rest and sleep. That then just adds more emotions into the mix. Grumpy, anger, tiredness, snappy, dysphasia, my stutter, frustration, crying and rudeness. (I’m sure that most of my friends and family would say that’s nothing new🤪)
But regardless off all that I faced my fear and done it I got on that plane and flew. I done it! I faced team ASF head on and done it!
Now if you are reading this and thinking I never could then never say never. You might not be able to now but every step towards achieving that, no matter how small, no matter how many is still a step and you will get there.
Remember you are stronger than you think.