For me when the weather is shit outside like it is today. I feel trapped. It’s pissing it down (it’s raining), so unless I have somewhere I have to be, I’ll be staying at home. When you can’t really walk fast and it’s raining lots it’s only mean one thing………you’re going to get very wet!
So I stay home which then means I stat over thinking and worrying about situations that haven’t happened yet. Or in fact aren’t ever going to happen, but my brain says the old faithful questions……….”what if…….”, “why………”….”what did you say…….”. It’s a vicious circle and when your short term memory isn’t ever working 100% then you really start eating yourself up. “I must’ve said something……”, “are they ignoring me……”, “why don’t they like me anymore……..”, “I don’t fit in……….”, “they don’t want to be my friend anymore…….” I could go on for ages with.
It’s true friendships do change when something like this happens, but it probably isn’t 100% your fault. In fact it might not be anyone’s fault. Everyone’s life changes. It just might be that………
- You never were as close as you thought you were. The seriousness of the situation confirmed that.
- They don’t know how to act around you.
- You’re trying to still be pre brain injury you and it takes you a while the realise you’ve changed.
- You can’t handle what’s happened.
- They can’t handle what’s happened.
- You don’t fit their lifestyle anymore.
- They don’t fit yours.
- The friendship has run its course.
And many, many other reasons.
The other side of that is that other friends who you weren’t as close to step up and give you the support you need. You also make new friends through support groups, charities & even social media of people who have been through a similar experience to you. I say similar as no two brain injuries are the same.
But I think the biggest thing is to be your own friend. If you don’t manage all of your tasks/challenges/rehab for that day, your very tired, your brain is fatigued. Don’t beat yourself up, or think you have failed because you haven’t. Love and appreciate this new you. This might not be how you are forever, our bodies change and adapt everyday. But if this is how your body will be then love it nonetheless.
You are amazing and you’ve already shown that by surviving. Remember you are a SURVIVOR!!
2 thoughts on “Friendships”
Good read Claire. Infact went through the same experience as you did. It took me awhile to come to terms with reality. I must say it has only made me stronger. Looking at things positively it has made me a better me. Loving myself more than I ever did. Living my moments to the fullest. The past is depression the future is anxiety all we have is this moment. We must live it to the fullest even if it means breaking our moments into milliseconds of happiness. GLAD that you are living your moments. In the real world you would have no idea how much of an influence you would be to others. Just remember you are a superhero you are unstoppable!!! Even the superman’s and the Batman’s are no match for you. Every moment is a battle in real life. Not many can battle like you do on a minute to minute basis. Shine on and illuminate!!! God bless
Wow thank you Maniesh.
Such beautiful kind words. It’s lovely to hear other people’s stories and challenges they have overcome. Great to hear that you have a new love of yourself, for life and have such a positive attitude towards your reality now.
Take care and enjoy every minute of your life.