My chaos

Hi folks,

Apologies for no blog lately but it’s been a difficult time.

So I survived my 1st month placement at the gym. The staff there who I’ve met are great.

I’m now a month into my gym instructor course. Which again the staff are brilliant, the other students are a good laugh. So I’m enjoying it lots but…………

Since this all began back in Jan I’ve had some weird s*** go on.

Headaches…………over my left eye, behind my ear (either side), top of head, neck pain, higher blood pressure, breathing issues, pins and needles in hands or feet and few others that I’ll leave out. I’m not sleeping properly either. I go to bed then I’m wide awake and the fear eats at me. I literally sit in bed watching videos until I can’t keep my eyes open and fall asleep.

So needless to say my fear and anxiety are through the roof. I believe it a lot of the things mentioned above are due to my anxiety.

If we look at the bigger picture, I haven’t asked so much of my brain in nearly 4yrs.

My routine has all changed again. I think I’ve spoken about how my brain gets really disruptive and difficult when things change suddenly. One of many brain changes since my injury. To be fair I had forgotten about it as I’ve had the same routine for a long time. I didn’t gradually introduce small changes. In fact as I’d been doing pretty well I’d sort of dropped into a I’ve improved so much this new journey is going to be so easy.

So it’s had to from learning to walk again to marathon running and take in lots of information so quickly. Which I don’t think it’s happy about so as a payback this is happening. It’s like a game of poker, it’s saying “I see your career choice and information overload and I raise you fear, anxiety, headaches, high blood pressure and anything else I can think of”!!

I’ve got an appointment this Friday to talk to the doc about all this. So hopefully the will get sorted.

Don’t get me wrong I am finding it hard enough. I’m on the course on the Tuesday I sleep literally all of Wednesday, back at the course on the Thursday sleep most of Friday and the weekend. The following week is all study, study, study. The practical side of the course I’m not too bad at but all the written side and remembering names, layers and functions of bones, muscles I’m struggling with. It’s not sinking in.

I haven’t been doing much rehab in fact nothing really, any personal training session with Lee or a class with Fiona since this all started I’m just so tired. I miss it terribly but with the struggle I’m already having with my brain I need as much rest as I can get while doing the course.

I’m am constantly learning with my brain injury. The goal posts never stay in the same place. Nearly 4yrs in and I still never know how my brain is going to react or how tired things make me. It amazes and puzzles me so much everyday.

Right time to attempt some studying.

Laters 💋