I’m back in the room.

Hey there folks. I’m back and I will be blogging everyday. 

I fell into a dark place. I’m sure there some of you out there who understand what I mean or have supported someone through that dark place.  It all started with me thinking that I firing on all 4cylinders and planning to talk to my doc to lower my dosage of happy pills. 

Then my personality changed. 

I was snapping, getting angry over little things, crying like a baby & I mean hysterically crying.  Turns out that I hadn’t been taking my tablets. For at least 5 days!! Which made me feel bad. So now I have my tablets on the side so in the morning as I make my breakfast I have my tablets at the same time. (Thanks Sarah (headway) for the idea. 

Also Deb has had a bit of a tough time over a several weeks so has been off work. With only getting statutory sick pay Deb was worried about paying all the bills and I couldn’t give the financial support like I would’ve been able to do before my aneurysm. So that knocked my confidence. Feeling useless.

I missed a PT session with Gym James as I had an assessment in the morning all todo with my ESA payments. I got there for my appointment at 9:30am and wasn’t seen until 12:30pm!!! One unhappy bunny!! 

I then missed a physio appointment with Physio James. We had made it earlier as James was going away. So I was annoyed with myself as I forgot to alter it in on my diary on my phone. James was fine and said he knew it was out of character for me and we arranged for the following Monday. 

Apart from physio I don’t have anything else to go to at the mo. I’m still waiting for my review at danesbury after upper limb group which finished back in June!! It really pisses me off because unless I get in contact with them I don’t get my physio. I haven’t had any nhs physio since April/May time. WTF!!  I feel like I’ve been forgotten. Or they aren’t really too bothered about me! So then I fall into the what is the point of all this. Fuck it all!!

Then the final thing was after going for a walk with Deb along the river on the Tuesday 26th in the evening and after getting the train back to Hoddesdon I decided that it would be better for me to walk up the ramp instead of climbing the steps……….FAIL BIG FAIL!! I tripped, on nothing just uneven ground, crashing to the ground like a sack of shit. Grazing my shin on my left leg and because I don’t have the strength or control in my right shoulder my right hand crashed knuckle side down and taking some quite big chunks out of them!! So once back on my feet again we went to the pub as we don’t really have any first aid stuff at home. When we got in there a little girl called Terri came over and helped clean my wounds and even bandaged my fingers up. So thank you so much for your help that night Terri. 

So my fingers and hand are back to almost normal and not swollen anymore and I am back at physio tomorrow.  

Sometimes on days that I have physio I think I will vloggs so that you can get a better visual idea of what goes on.  Instead of my stick drawings. 

So that’s all the rubbish bits but there has been some fun times too. That’s the next entry in the blog.

Now back Rio 2016. Is it wrong to try and stay awake to watch the ladies volleyball??? Hmmmmm maybe I’ll record it instead?? We will see.

Laters 💋