Category: Uncategorized

New year new me blah blah blah

Hey folks are we all fully recovered from the festivities?

I think I am. 

So today after jumping out of my skin when the alarm on my phone went off (my own fault as I forgot I had it set up on there). Then the feed animals, feed me, drink coffee and take pills, I got dressed and took Luna for a walk. 

Who is Luna some of you might be thinking. Ok well Luna is our sprocker spaniel puppy. We have had her 3months now. Luna is a really good companion to me. Keeping me moving and loving. She is helping to remember to have patience,  to keep calm when things don’t go as planned, toget out of the flat for exercise and just to start living more.


Isn’t she beautiful!! I could fill this blog with pics of this sweetie but I won’t. 

So back from the park I decided that I was going to create some kind of plan in place of how to get better use of the day and not watch the day go past. Ok so I’m not going to be able to follow the plan straight away but at least I have something to aim towards. When when I follow the plan then I will upgrade the plan again. 

I’ve realised that I have these ideas but never put them on paper and then stick them up around the home to remind me. So I have this time. I have goals to achieve, to cross off. 

Had a lovely chat with my sis Emma today it was lovely. Another goal idea there try to call once a month for a catch up. 

Had a visit from Anxiety & Stress this evening but after a chat with my aunty I managed to keep them under 60% control. 40% squeezed through. So a good battle was fought there today. 

Overall a good start to this year. Keep the happy thoughts, ideas and determination gong girl. Just remember that if you don’t achieve your plan for the day don’t beat yourself up over it as that is seriously wasted energy. 

Laters 💋

HaPpY NeW YeAr 

Happy new year people.

Hope you all celebrated well. 

So here we are another year over and a new one beginning. 

So how many of you out there have put never drinking again at the top of your new year resolutions?? 

I’m not one for resolutions (as if i was I would have already one of them with scoffing chocolate), but I am going to focus on staying on track. 

It’s been a bit wobbly over the last few months but time for me to control my mind and not the other way round. I haven’t been working as hard as I could have but the big bullies called depression, anxiety & fatigue keeping me company. Fatigue was kind of working with me in a strange way. Depression had some sweets that it liked. All was well and then the new kid on the block Anxiety, who thought it would be great to shake it all up and ruin the harmony. 

Well it’s time Anxiety found a new home this year. Depression well you need to sit up straight and listen and get better control of things. Enjoy life more. Fatigue let’s look at building our strength back up. I know that it going to be hard but come on, look how we were working together in the 6/7 months of last year. Let’s get back to there.

Well I’m going to sit here and think of to watch the horse racing and try and start making a plan (maybe a cheeky bet or 2). 

Laters 💋

My challenging time with my brain

Hey folks

Im really sorry that I haven’t written anything on my blog for so long that another one last months six months. I’ve been in a bit of a fight, well not a fight more of a battle with my brain. I’m sure there will be people out there that say “well obviously you had a brain injury but it not because of my brain injury but the psychological side of what happened came up. That came and bit me on the arse really fucking hard around the middle of September. 

And it all stemmed from having my haircut!!

Decided that I would have my hair cut shorter because I can couldn’t put my hair up in a ponytail and I don’t want to be arguing with Debbie all the time about it. Both myself and her appointment went to this place with my head back in bowl, got it washed, sat in the chair and it all got cut off. That part fine. Once I was home that part was in fine and spiralled out of control very quickly. I suddenly had a headache which covered my whole head and my neck and I went into sheer meltdown. Started panicking thinking that it was all happening again. Debbie called 111 then I spoke to someone, then went and saw my doctor that evening for a check up. Everything fine and home I was. A week later it happened again. I couldn’t stay calm felt hot, sick shaking. Again 111 was called and I was sent to an out of hours doctors, then home again after another check up. Poor Deb having to take me to the hospital at 21:30. The fear and the anxiety that grew and grew and grew over the next coming weeks over anything a lump, bump, itch was unreal. I was a mess.

Then came psychology with a wee Scottish man called Angus. He was fantastic hey really really helped me over the following six weeks. Every Tuesday for an hour and a half we would talk about things to help me through it. Gave me ideas of how to control my anxiety. I’m still not great at them but I do recognise the symptoms and understand how not to let them destroy me like they used to. The conversations with Angus were deep and pulled up stuff from areas I thought I had kept well hidden, or I didn’t think was relevant to what I was going through but apparently it was. Even though sometimes it was difficult I knew that it will help in the end, well it’s helping everyday is best way to put it.

I can’t emphasise enough how much psychology has helped me. So anyone out there that reads this who has gone through a traumatic event regardless of it just being a brain injury then I would say do you give it a go. You’ll be surprised how speaking to someone who has no idea of your life cannot, doesn’t judge you can help you figure things out. Or even just how to deal with them so that you can continue a more settled life.

Don’t give me wrong I still have scares and worry over the lumps, bumps, the itches, the pains but I don’t let it ruin my day like it used to.

I still worry that I am a burden on people, or the way I handle situations is wrong. Or my facial expression is wrong. Or that I haven’t processed what is going on around me and say the wrong thing, wrong way. Or come across as oversensitive, undersensitive. Or that people don’t want to be around me because I don’t know what I’m gonna be like or the last time they saw me was rude but I cant remember that’s a very big worry of mine. It is so easy to feel so isolated. But there is a book that helped me understand what has happened to me and they way that I can act sometimes. The link is below…..

Right I’m off to walk the puppy.

Laters💋

18/11/2016  Hello….

Hey there everyone. 

I haven’t been blogging in such a long time and I apologise for this. There were a few factors to this…..

1-summertime 

2-BIG anxiety & depression session

I will do a vlog in a few days (need to make a list of prompts) and talk about it all and give people an understanding of where I am.  Perhaps folk out there might have some help for me, might be having similar feelings themselves or have been through it and are now out the other side. 

Either way I am just drooping you all a little note to say that I hadn’t forgotten, I just haven’t been in the best head space to write.

Laters 💋

17/08/2016

Hey folks how are we?

I’m not too bad thanks. I’m very sluggish lately. So needless to say I’ve not been very productive on the exercise front. Don’t get me wrong I have been doing them but I haven’t been working as hard as I would like to have been.  I feel pretty pissed about it right now.

I can’t get too angry about it as I only have myself to blame! 

Laters 💋

Arm & Leg exercise 12/08/2016 & 13/08/2016

Hey folks,

Apologies that this post wasn’t uploaded last night. We went out in the afternoon and then had Deb bro @ sis-in-law Graham & Michelle round. 

So I forgot to post this. But here it is my arm and leg exercise from yesterday 

I’m really tired today. So I’ve just been chilling on the sofa and focusing on my hand today. Individual finger work, some arm rubbing to encourage the circulation and hand to head work. I was also trying to improve my position when I’m sitting and also when my right leg is elevated so that again my leg is as straight as possible from my hip downwards. 

So nothing exciting to write home about today. It’s small moves today. As I’m tired today there isn’t any point pushing myself really hard otherwise I would just start throwing tantrums. Which would be wasted energy.

Right I’m going to carry on watching the Olympic trampolining. The sport I used to teach.

Laters 💋

Tues 09/08/16

Hey folks 

How has your day been?

Mine was pretty productive. I done some arm exercise which took a lot out of me, but it is improving which is great. It’s just that as I do the exercise I can feel the difference in my shoulder. The best way to discribe it is to think of it this way…….

Imagine you try to push open a door, but it won’t budge, the hinges are rusted. So you use all of the strength and energy and the door starts to open, but you have to keep pushing hard until it’s fully open……that was how it felt trying to raise my at the start of my physio with James. With his help in a short space of time it now feels like a very heavy door. Still takes a lot of energy but I am able to repeat again & again until my shoulder hates me like it does right now. 

As promised here are some videos, I didn’t get to do videos of my arm and leg exercises as I couldn’t find a decent place to stand my iPad. As you will see from the video of the FES machine.

FES set up 

Pincer grip

This morning I was reading through Twitter seeing what was going on in the world and there was a post that came up from @CIMTuk (cimt.co.uk) who are all about arm & hand rehabilitation (Contraint Induced Movement Therapy).  I was watching the small children who have their “good” arm in a cast and just using the affected arm regain the ability to draw, write, eat, drink & build again. I was overwhelmed with their determination. 

So I am now doing to be just as determined as those little guys and get my affected arm to do more of the work. I know I know James is probably reading this and thinking “really I’ve been telling you from day dot you need to use the right hand more”. I know you have James, in our session together I was as you were there to push me. Once I was home and doing tasks I thought I was doing a good job but after watching those little guys I realalised that I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough. I think I was kidding myself of the effort I was putting in. So over the next few weeks until our next physio session I’m going to push my limits so that Sept is kick arse time. 

That was started tonight. We went out for dinner and I’m a left handed eater now. Holding the fork in my right hand I was stabbing the chicken, cutting a piece with my left hand then resting the knife against the plate and then using my left to encourage my right hand to turn and put the chicken in my mouth. I felt so pleased with myself plus we were in a public place and I didn’t care I was eating my dinner my way.

Right folks I’m off to plan my day tomorrow.

Laters 💋

Physio baby yeah!!

Hey folks how has your day been? 

Did you get all your tasks done today? 

Was your day action packed? If yes to all the above well done you.

Or like me did you day get off to a slow start where I dragged myself out of bed (well half of me ha ha), sat having breakfast and 1.sneezing constantly and eyes streaming (some kind of hay fever) which all started last night. 2.fighting with my brain to get on and get organised for my day as I had physio at 13:00 and had to go on a bus tour to get there, which takes 1hr and a change. 

Well after a good hour of squabbling with the lazy me. Which even involved a debate about going back to bed for a nap. Anyway I got my arse in gear and took my bus tour.

Soooooooo physio time!

First of all James got me to explain what happened in my spectacular fall two weeks ago. Then he checked my arm and hand and was glad that I hadn’t done any damage. So that was great, but James did say that although we have been focusing on my hand we needed to look at my leg as I shouldn’t be tripping as easily as that as I am quite steady on my feet usually with my stick.

So then I laid on my back and  James got me to move my leg, foot and ankle in different ways. Then a few more while lying on my left side. So once he has jotted down notes we sat and chatted and in simple terms (and also because I can’t remember the terminology he used) the push muscles in my leg are better than the pull muscles. 

Next we looked at my walking without a stick so James could get a better understanding of my body posture while walking. James then filmed me so that I could see and so we could watch it in slow motion to see what the muscles and joint were doing. James sent to of them to me so I can see and remind myself. I’ll put them up on here tomorrow a long with a video the exercises as my stick men diagrams aren’t the best. Along with the f.e.s machine video.

So after a video review James went to his car and got a f.e.s machine and then attached it to my leg and a heel switch too. This machine will stimulate the nerves in my leg to work like a normal foot. So that there is a bigger clearance between my foot and the ground. I could feel the difference. What James was happy with the set up he then showed me how to put it on myself, the area of the leg/bone I was looking for. So let’s see what tomorrow brings as I try to fit this myself! 

The session was finished with a leg exercise. So back to lying down and then I had to slide my foot up the bench to my bum without my heel leaving the bench. That’s a lot harder than it looks. But no pain no gain.

I have 3 weeks until my next physio appointment as James is going to hang out with the Disney crew in Florida. So now I am going to push myself. I’m going to get back to exercise everyday whether it’s here at home or at the gym or just outside (with a added dose of Pokemon Go). 

LETS DO THIS!!

Laters 💋