Author: waddo05

Well………I had a productive day. 

Started with a bit of CogMed………..nearly lost my patience a couple of times but that’s nothing new with that programme. The most frustrating part is when I think I’ve solved a task, the score drops and then my brain points out where I went wrong. For example I have to remember a series of dots that light up and the numerical order. I’m doing well was 4, now 5, then 6 and now I’m on 7numbers to remember……….so I’m watching them all light up, remembering the order, now it’s my turn to complete the task! Ok…..1✔️2✔️3✔️4✔️5✔️6✔️7✔️…..boom yeah!! NOOOOO score drops……..brain engages……..no no nooooooo 5 was under 2 not to the right……..muppet!! Yeah cheers FOR THE HELP!!! 

So frustration was taken out on putting a wash load on……..except you calm down quite quickly as you try and pick up a top to throw onto the washing pile……..especially after the 5th attempt!! Dramatic effect epic fail!! 

Ok time to compose myself…….ok I’ll watch a bit of Rizzoli & Isles. Perfect!

Right enough perving at the tv time to force my arse to get to the gym! I don’t want to but I have too. Get there and James is back from his hols. So we decide…….sorry James decides that we will do some new moves today. Off the top of my head I can’t remember the machines but I was bloody tired at the end. We have also booked some PT sessions as I need a bit of a kick at the mo.

Got home and it’s was time for my favourite task of the day…….the washing up. I had to do it quick as one of my dear friends Kerry was coming round for a catch up and to cut my hair. It’s been a couple of months since we saw each other last so it was lovely to see her. My hair is fabulous too!!

I’m going to Cheshunt tomorrow with Sarah (Headway) to possibly look at volunteering. Then we had over to Welwyn Garden City to see Glynn for an assessment to see if a product called Saeboglove http://www.saebo.com/saeboglove/ would be of any benefit to me. Fingers crossed.

I am also booked in with another James at http://www.physio4you.co.uk for an assessment Monday 09:30am to see what extra we can get done to aid my rehab.

So all in all a good day now time to sleep.

Laters 💋

Morning folks.

How are we all?? 

I’m ok, thank you for asking 😜

It’s was nice on Sunday to catch up with Corrine & Christy. I haven’t seen them since I was in hospital. Still both as crazy as ever. I was a well over due catch up. 

I’m a bit lost this week. I’m getting very angry when I can’t do my exercises correctly. Or I can’t get up off the sofa without using my left arm on the arm to help push me to standing!! I’m trying to get back into the swing of the gym……..failing miserably there too!! 

I was looking into extra physio as I’m not very good at motivating myself as you can see. I’m really struggling to decide if I really need neurophysio or just physio. Or is that just me believing I’m further along in my recovery than I actually am?

We now have a table and chairs for outside so we dined alfresco styleeeee last night and it was beautiful. 

 How beautiful is that!! 

We had rainbow trout so Asbo went and sulked……

Right time to get shit done. I’m not having another unproductive week!

Laters 💋

Hello poeple I apolgise for my poor permance on here over the last couple of weeks. There is no excuse that i can give. The truth was that I couldn’t be bothered. Infact I couldn’t be bothered with anything.

But I am back now.

Today I want talk about A couple of companies that I follow on Twitter. All I can say is I can’t imagine how hard life must’ve been for disabled before social media. You can find out so much so quickly about programs, or equipment that is available to help improve your life.

Okay the first is a company called Special Effect www.specialeffect.org.uk find then on Twitter @SpecialEffect. These geniuses have helped children and adults alike you are big gaming fans. They managed to adapt control pad’s & computers so that disabled people can join in with their friends and play FIFA or Call of Duty, or any came that they want. Thanks to the guys at Special Effect now nobody is left out. Honestly check them out and see they amazing work that they do. The happiness that they give is priceless! Thank you Special Effect 😀

The next is The Grappler www.the-grappler.co.uk, find them on Twitter @The_Grappler_.  This piece of equipment is sure genius on such a simple level. And I got the opportunity to speak to Dave Savage who invented The Grappler. This is some of our conversation:

Me: That really is an ingenious bit of equipment and very clever how it could be used by disabled people and how you can adapt it for the disabled people. Maybe I could persuade my local gym? I’m certainly interested in it. How can you adapt it for people like myself who is temporarily paralysed down my right hand side. I will would like to include you in my blog later if you don’t mind?

Dave: We can fit a lap belt to keep the user in position. We use to do a removable seat, but this was useless if the machine wasn’t bolted down. We have a lot of wheelchair users who prefer to get into the Grappler seat rather than work hard in the own wheelchair and have to then sit in their own sweat. The ‘Kiss’ charity user the Grappler for people with brain injuries/strokes. They use their stronger arm to position the weaker arm in place on the rope holding the other hand in place, like a double grip. This eventually retrains the brains pathways to control the stroke effected arm so after a while the arm muscles recover some movement and strength. It also trains your heart and lungs directly, I have a customer who bought a Grappler for home and he says it’s saved his life. He has advanced emphysema and he now manages to do everyday tasks with no difficulty. Hope you get to try a Grappler soon it has no impact so is great for training injuries. 

Honestly go and have a look at this piece of equipment that is ingenious. If I had the space here at home and with a little bit of saving as I’m not working at the moment I will have one of these myself. When my gym instructor James comes back of holiday I will be bending his ear about this and maybe we can persuade Broxbourne council into getting one at the John Warner centre. 

Can tailor the eve of the companies they are ingenious.

Laters 💋

 

 

Well a packed weekend we had. 

Friday 29th it’s Dan’s birthday so we head over to Twickenham for drinks. Deb is driving so we plan to stay at Hobbit & Veg’s place so that Deb doesn’t have to do a round trip in one night. And it was good fun I let my hair down and drank probably shouldn’t of but I did. It was lovely to catch up with everyone specially people that  I hadn’t for a long time, over a year in fact. 

Trying to walk drunk when you can’t walk very well is very entertaining. I did chuckle a lot. I turned round to Deb at one point and said “don’t talk to me I need concentrate on walking I can’t multitask”!!. Brilliant!!

Saturday 30th. We get up and sit in the front room chatting about last nights shenanigans. Hobbit was asking about Tracy’s cat puffcat and if he was still alive. My response “no he was old and drunk”……after realising what I said and not being able to remember what I was meant to say I just started hysterically laughing for what seemed like ages, tears rolling down my cheeks and struggling to breathe. 

So we all went and met up for breakfast. On the way there hobbit turn to veg and said that she had stepped in dog shit, but instead of checking the bottom of her shoe she pranced about like a pony. That was it hysterical laughter round two. I had to stop and try and keep my balance while laughing. Again tears rolled down my cheeks. 

Granny didn’t look very well at all when she got to the pub for breakfast she was looking a bit green around the gills. And have a bit of a struggle with eating her breakfast. Breakfast finished and we just sat there chatting shit basically, the most randomness conversations you can have. Then Veg came out with an absolute corker classic. Veg and Hobbit are going to Whitstable to see a friend so veg said “isn’t that where touching the cloth is made”. That’s it round three of hysterical laughing started. “I mean tipping the velvet” Veg corrected herself in between hysterical laughter. Once I could control myself a bit I couldn’t resist in saying “I’ve seen the review for touching the cloth and its shit”! the laugher continued.  We all left the pub at about 3pm after getting in there at 9am. All sensible and everything. I think if we didn’t have places to be we stayed in there all day.

In the evening we went over to Debbie’s bosses house as it was his wife’s birthday so they have a little barbecue party. Again Deb drove. When they live is absolutely beautiful. It was a good night John kept coming in with the shots of something, I have no idea how many I had. They were nice though, I would say it was probably a little bit like tequila rose but with  hazelnut. Apparently I was a nightmare to get in the car to go home. When we got back to the flat I managed to gracefully land on my bum on the floor, then got myself on my knees into the bedroom where Deb helped me to bed.

Sunday 1st. I am mentally and physically exhausted, it’s been a busy weekend for me. New surrounding I have been in, seeing people I haven’t seen for a long time and also seeing new people, new faces, it’s a lot for my little old brain to take in. And the copious amounts of alcohol probably didn’t help. So I dropped in and out of sleep all day. I was best friends with the bed. 

Deb took herself on a 20+ mile bike ride. She caught the train to Stratford and the rode back along the river. Her bum did hurt by the time she got back. She was so chuffed with the self for doing it and she wants to do it again. We sat on the roof terrace and had a burger and then I went back to bed as I just wanted to sleep and if I have stayed outside then I would’ve got burnt. 

After sleeping again we sat and watched some films. The new Jungle book, then Maleficent, then RED. 3 awesome films. 

Monday 2nd. I’m still not moving much. Still really tired. So another day of doing nothing. Deb was in clean up mode so she would blitz a room then watch a program and then blitz another room then watch a program. When Deb gets in cleaning mode I stay out of her way. It’s safer. 

Then we get to today. Tuesday 3rd May. Up early and done stretches in bed. I have a load of different strength bands to use on my leg. I’ve had really ingestion this morning. I know I know I result of the drinking. I had to wait in for a sofa to be delivered this morning. Now time for more exercises……

Laters 💋

Just thought I would say hi. 

It’s been a few days and I did say I would try and write on here more. 

It’s been a good a not too bad few days. 

• Been to the gym everyday ✔️✔️✔️✔️
• Done CogMed each morning ✔️✔️❌✔️
• Leg & arm stretching ✔️❌✔️✔️
• Hand work ✔️❌❌❌
• Taking tablets ✔️❌✔️✔️
• Washing up ✔️❌✔️✔️

These things I had put on a list of tasks I must do everyday.  As you can see I’m not perfect everyday but who is? The worst offender is my hand. I can’t seem to get the communications between hand and brain to work ( and before you people reading this think “obviously you can’t get them to work you had a stroke”! I know that I mean the line of communication that were open see firmly shut right now)!! So that has been quite a struggle for me. Then more they don’t work the more frustrated I get. Which then grows into a tantrum with a bit of self loathing thrown in for good measure. You can’t beat a bit of self loathing and not being able to think of the words to insult yourself with!! 

I’m going to see the physiologist tomorrow. Angus is his name. I don’t know what will go on. I’ve been waiting since end of last year. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to it???

Anyway I need some sleep now.

Laters 💋 

Well what a week it was last week. Body in idle mode. Trying to process everything. Putting everything into the reality folders and then putting into storage. I think most of it all is filed now. Maybe a few sheets that need holes punched in and then they will be filed.

I woke this morning and decided I needed to put down tasks that I have to do everyday with out fail. Regardless of my mental state. I need to put some kind structure to my day. It’s too easy for my brain to play the tired card. Don’t get me wrong I do get tired and I must rest at those times, but not everyday. 

I returned to the gym today too. It felt good to be back there. Spoke to James about last week and how I hope to get together with him and Marion my Danesbury physio soon so we can create a bigger plan of rehab. 

Sarah (Headway) came round for a catch up. Threw a few ideas around maybe looking at some volunteery work. All in all a good day.  

What a crazy weekend!!

My sister Emma, husband Andrew, nephew Nathan (15) and niece Maddie (6) all came to stay for the weekend.  Asbo is still recovering!! 

Sat lunchtime we all went over to Watford crem to place some flowers in Bluebell wood for Nanny Radlett’s birthday. She would have been 93. We met aunty Jayne (dad’s sister) there. It was lovely to see her and have a catch up as the last I saw her was just before I left Danesbury last August. 

Back home again and we went over to Rye Park and played crazy golf. Well it certainly was crazy. Playing one handed and keeping my balance was challenge all in itself, but it was funny. We returned home and ordered pizza and had another YouTube jukebox night. Everyone joined in even the children. We then had a stint of just dance for Maddie before she had to go to bed and then it was back to YouTube jukebox.

Sunday we had a chill out day. Watched some films, the MotoGP which Rossi won (wooohoooo). They all left around 3pm and then I watched Watford get beaten by crystal palace in the F.A Cup semifinals (boooooooo). 

Laters 💋

First of all happy St. George’s everyone and also HaPpY 93rd BiRtHdAy to my Nan . I miss and love you so much xxxx

Sorry folks that I haven’t written anything for a while. My head has been on vacation. I’ve been in brain fatigue central. It’s kind of boring there. No energy to do anything……….no motivation and it sucks!! You forget that after suffering a TBI that this happens to you until you come out the other side or until you piece everything together. Sometimes it’s not until you speak to someone like your physio or like I did Jeanette my OT that you realise. I process things so differently at the moment. Once there is events that happen my brain shuts its doors and drip feeds me the information over a number of days (I wonder if it’s paying my back for the drips I was on in hospital)?

This is what happened…….

Monday 18/04 we went back to Addenbrookes to take part in a focus group about my time in NCCU (neurological critical care unit). There was 5 patients and their partners (including myself and Deb). There was 2 doctors, a senior sister called Ingred, 2 admin people 1 was called Kate and a another lady. I recognised the senior sister but not the two doctors. 

The doctors started it all off and one said how he couldn’t remember any of our faces as they see so many people they all seem to blur into one. He explained why they have these focus groups and some things that have changed through the input from patients and family. We then took it in turn to say a bit about ourselves and what happened etc.

 I think it helped Deb to be with other people who had gone through a very similar situation to her. People who knew the pain, dispair, anxiety, fear and stress that she was dealing with. One gentleman even gave Deb his card so that of she just wanted to chat about it all to someone who understands then to give him a call. That was a lovely gesture we thought. 

I then said that I would like of apologise to all the staff in critical & Intensive care as apparently I had quite a potty mouth while a was in there because I was in so much pain. Straight away one of the doctors said that he remembered me. Wow!! I must of been bad!! When we had a little break I turned round to Ingred and said how she looked familiar to me and she explained that she did treat me when I was back in intensive care but not when I was in critical care. 

After it was all finished Ingred took some of us back into critical care. It was strange being back there. One bed was empty while we were in there and it was the room that I was in. So I got to look in and see the framework that all things that were attached to me would’ve been attached to. That was really scary to think about. I just burst into tears. Deb gave me a massive hug and had a few tears herself. 

From there we brought some sweeties and then went back to ward a was on and caught up with a couple of the nurses. It’s nice to go back and see them to show them the progress that I am making. To show then that the job that they do counts so much.

The day completely knackered me.  My brain has spent the week trying to process it all. The reality of it all. Seeing where I was fighting for my life. Scary stuff that needed processing and the realisation of how much of a work in progress my brain still is. As my brain has so much information to process needless to say my physical recovery got thrown to the back of the que. No matter how much I fought myself it wasn’t happening. That got me down……….but Monday is a new week, I’ve processed my trip to Addenbrookes so time to start planning my week.

Laters 💋

A little video for you all 

On the 31st March myself & Deb joined the local leisure centre. Time to for the next step in my journey to able bodyness. 

APRIL 2016

Monday 4th it was induction time!!  I’m only looking to go to use the recumbent bike and maybe the running machine…….not to run obviously, I’m not in that league of ability right now. To be fair bambi on ice would have grace than me right now. 

Tuesday 5th here we go!! Time to go to the gym. All by myself. Had to stand in front of the mirror, pull on my big girl joggers and t-shirt, then give myself a pet talk. Let’s do this!! I don’t have the nervousness like Claire 1.0 had going into the gym by myself. I think now it’s because I know that people are going to stare. I can’t stop them. It’s part of human nature that as a species we are very good at. Tried to sit on the recombrent bike but my foot wasn’t having any of it. I think today was the first time in all of this that my head going “yeah let’s do this”! and it was my leg (knee & ankle) that was going “no no nooooooooo…….not going to happen”!! My blood started to boil then one of the gym instructors Chelsa came over to help. Chelsea was really helpful and suggested I try an actual exercise bike. With a bit of adjustment here and there we got me set up and sorted. Even my leg was like “oooooooooo ok……..ok I like it this is good”. Body in harmony let’s pedal. I did was myself in the mirror constantly to make sure that I kept control of my hip. Which then kept better control of my knee. Which then help my ankle and finally a small amount of control in my foot.  I was talking Chelsea, explains my history and she suggested that I book a appointment with James as he deals with all the go referrals so he would be the best person to suggest things I could do. So on my way out I did and it got booked for following day.

Wednesday 6th here we go a date with James!! Got in the gym and was greeted by him. He’s a really bubbly funny guy, he makes you feel at ease straight away. We discussed what my disabilities are, and what we need to do. Also we discussed the hard programme that I will be doing to get me in shape for the RioOlympics this summer 😆🏆.  So I have the exercise bike while holding a 1kg dumbbell in my right hand, adding in some biceps curls if I can but the main focus is peddling. It’s quite entertaining as if I attempt a bicep curl I forget to peddle!! This is going to be fun. Next a bit of step aerobics…….not really but we use the step at least. I step my left foot onto the step then lift my right knee up as high as I can 10 and then change legs. Then it’s onto seated back rowing machine. It’s for arms and posture so brilliant for me as they are two big areas for me. And this time as it’s not a case of using a machine like you would normally I do individual arms on this one. This is so I can do a stronger weight on my left arm so that I do not lose the strength I have in it. This task takes a lot of brain power as I have to tell myself that I can do this one as I can’t rely on my left arm to do the work is down to my right arm to do this one.  There is another machine but I can’t remember the name or think of a description to put into Google to find out what it is but I will take note at the gym and then put it on here. Again with this one I do different weight sizes for my left and right arms. Once I have done these exercises and frazzled myself out it is then back to the bike for another pedal and like a cool down. I felt totally totally phyiced when I when I finished and James has put me on a strict goal of doing these exercises for the next two weeks and two weeks only otherwise he’s going to beat me then they gonna look at things again and maybe add something more into the mix. I was buzzing leaving there.

Thursday 7th I am ****ed!!! I’ve not worked as hard as I did yesterday in a long while. Feel good but I know I need to listen to my body and rest. I’m not at they level where even though I’m tired or things ache a little I carry on. I have to let my body process and store the new information before I carry on otherwise it will throw a shit fit and not do anything. I feel gutted that I’m not at the gym but ickle steps Claire ickle steps.

Friday 8th ok here we go to the gym again. Got some tunes to listen to on my phone to keep me pumped. Its harder to do I feel when your by yourself and don’t have someone there to push you.  It was good though I followed the programme. Pushed myself because like James said “if you’re not going to push yourself hard then there’s no point doing it”. I totally agree with that. Felt good when I had finished and also felt proud of myself that I have really stuck to this this week. I thought after we joined I start would start off being like “yeah yeah I’ll go” and not actually go but I love this feeling I am totally buzzing when I finish and feel so proud of myself. It’s really hard to explain but for me it has a massive feelgood factor. I was speaking to Deb tonight and decided that at some point I will have some personal training sessions with James because he’s bloody good and I need that kind of person that will laugh and joke with you but still push you.

Sunday 10th it’s my birthday weekend. Deb brought tickets for us to see Circa perform Closer at The Udderbelly Festival on the south bank. http://www.udderbelly.co.uk/whats-on/closer It’s was absolutely spectacular. The strength, balance, skill of these people, of these acrobats from Australia is incredible!!! Balancing off each other and off things. At one point Jarred one of the male performers had the three girls Lisa, Lauren and Kimberly all balanced on him with him standing. And not like he looked like Superman or had a wash board stomach and amazing abs etc he just had amazing strength. One of the performers Lauren is a rope contortionist, she was hanging about in the air it was crazy. Another performa Lisa had all this amazing skill with hulahoop’s just started off with one and by the end she must’ve had at least 40 around her!! Kimberly and Daniel done some amazing aerial acrobatics together. I just I can’t explain it honestly go and see it it is brilliant!! And as an added bonus as we left because we had to come through the step free access way because I’m special (I’m not being disrespectful to anyone when I say that one it’s how I deal with it) we left via backstage. As we did of the performers Lauren was then walking past so we had a little chat with her and and said thank you for such an amazing performance to see. 

Laters 💋

Bloody hell………..1/4 of the year gone already!! It’s crazy how fast time goes. Only 11 days and I will be another year older. 

Anyway………so how was your Easter? Did you gauge yourself on chocolate? Debs parents got us a Hero egg each. Mine was gone in 3days!!! Deb still has hers and I have no hope of stealing any as she knows how much she has left to the gram!!  

So what has been going on in our life. Well I’m kind of doing the CIMT…….who am I kidding, no I’m not. A little demon in my head started throwing scare tactics at me. “What if you do that and then it spills and you fall over with the glove on because you couldn’t steady yourself like you good without the glove?”.  I know silly right!! Although trying the CIMT has made me realise how the brain gets the unaffected side to take over just through being inpatient……..well it does for me. So now I have more squabbles with myself about using my right arm instead of my left. 

Things like brushing my teeth. Small part of my brain is like “ok we are going to use my right hand to brush brush my teeth”. Then the remainder in like “really! So we have to make sure the right has the right grip, then help get the toothbrush in the mouth, and keep hold of the arm throughout as the right doesn’t have the strength to hold itself there! Sometimes even moving the hand too! Let’s just use the left, better results and less effort!”. It’s like when your were at school and in the group of friend you hung around with there was who was the know it all, standing there with that smug look while watching you struggle. That is how it feels to me.   I don’t give in though and there is improvement, very very slight but it all add up.

Caught up with my friend Yildiz who I was working for when I had the aneurysm. She brought over flowers and chocs…..

Bless her she is such a busy lady. She was here for about 3hrs and on the phone sorting out work issues for 2 of them. She does make me laugh though she is such a scatter brain at time. 😘 Yildiz. 

Hobbit & Veg came up Friday night as Deb was taking them to the airport Saturday first thing as they were of to Italy for a week……. Ballisimo……(probably not how to spell it). 

Easter Sunday we went on a castle adventure. All the way to Castle Rising Castle in Kings Lynn (no I haven’t spelt it wrong by adding the extra cast in. That how it comes up on google maps).

It’s lovely there I hobbled around and Deb would go off and explore and then come and find me. It’s all for a new venture Deb has………all will be revealed in the near future. With Deb as my walking stick and the big stone walls I managed to walk up these stairs but that was as far as I got……

I couldn’t look anywhere else as it was all spiral staircases plus I was shattered when I got up these steps……I needed to rest as I had to to back down them again!! 

I few shots I took…..

This one was on the way there I love it…

The next photo was the sunset last night……

And the sunrise this morning……..

We have such great views, lots of photo opportunities. Perhaps I will become a landscape photographer?? Ha ha!!

Well today is OT day. Jeanette will be over at 13:30 so I better get myself sorted. Get all my jobs done. 

Laters 💋